Archive for carny val

Public Letter To My Wife – What I Won’t Do For You

Posted in Random Stuff with tags , , , , , , , , , on December 14, 2012 by Dustin
My Family Spreading Cheer

My Family Spreading Cheer During the Holidays

Everyone always declares what their willing to do for their significant other. I would like my beautiful wife to know some of things I won’t do for her. I hope you enjoy.

“Honey” Carny Val,

I won’t ever lay hands on you in anger. I may tweak your nipple if you tweaked mine first but know that I do this out of love for your nipples and defense of mine. I won’t ever stop wanting you, in fact… get over here and give me some sugar. I won’t stop trying to improve for you because you deserve the best and I will always try to hit the mark even if I fall short most of the time. I won’t stop trying to make you laugh at least once during every 24 hour period (it might not always work but I keep trying). I won’t say no to sex if you ask for it, not gonna happen, seriously if you don’t believe me ask right now. I won’t talk about you to other people in a negative way. You are too special and I believe in spreading the word until the whole world knows what a lucky man I am. I won’t stop being a complete dork that likes to goof around and be silly. I won’t say no to getting you something else to eat when I make a dud dinner, sometimes banana curry just wasn’t the dish to try out and In-N-Out may just save the night. I won’t stop writing you letters. I won’t stop doing your hair if you need to save money (just take it easy on me when I frustrate you in the process). I won’t stop making your friends jealous of your husband. I won’t stop trying to make you feel better when you’re sick, cold, hungry, sore, achy, on your period, in a bad mood, sad, or upset because I was stupid again. I won’t stop forgetting that one guy that was in that one show with that other guy in it from that one movie, you know the one. I won’t stop having the same birthday as you and being 4 hours older. I won’t stop asking you what do you want to do for dinner. I won’t stop being excited to share news with you. I won’t stop wanting to give you your gift early, it’s just so hard and I really love to see your happy face smile. I won’t stop laughing when you snore at night (seriously it’s way too cute). I won’t get tired of seeing movies with you. I won’t stop holding your hand in public. And most important, I won’t stop loving you. You are everything I want in a woman:

  • Creative
  • Strong
  • Funny
  • Smart
  • Smokin Hot
  • Good Mom
  • Great with Money
  • Vegetarian
  • And a nice ass

Thank You,

“Honey” The Great Odd Dustin

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